Gotta love 'em

This is a list of Chuck Norris jokes, compiled by my brother. Some of them are actually funny. Enjoy.


1.When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up...he pushes the
world down.
2.When the boogey-man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
3.Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
4.The great wall of China was built to keep out Chuck Norris.....it
failed miserably.
5.Chuck Norris won Connect Four in three moves.
6.Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.
7.Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no sign
of life there.
8.Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, saying that Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right arms.
9. Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion, now Neo is "The Two."
10. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word "hunt" infers the
probability of failure, Chuck Norris goes killing.
11. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
12. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
13. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin; it's decendants
today are known as giraffes.
14. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.....at night.
15. China was once bordering the United States. That was until Chuck
Norris roundhouse kicked the commies across the planet.
16. When Chuck Norris had surgery the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
17. Chuck Norris broke the land speed record on a kiddie bike with no wheels.
18. There is no such thing as tornadoes, Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
19. If there were a nuclear war only two things would survive:
cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
20. President Truman dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshoma when he had
the choice to simply send Chuck Norris. Truman chose the bomb because
it was more "Humane."